Introducing yourself email dating
If they’re still around and things are going from bad to worse, you’ll be getting the hot and cold treatment while thinking ‘It was so great in the beginning! ’ and then sinking all your efforts into trying to retrieve the beginning of the relationship.
It’s nice to feel adored and if you’re a passion seeker that tends to talk about ‘type’ ‘compatability’ ‘common interests’ ‘passion’ ‘connection’ etc, you’ll be ripe for someone to fast-forward the crap out of you and then feel desolate and inclined to go on the validation seeking trail when things start to go wrong.
Why do you need to demand so much of the person and the relationship so early on? Isn’t this all a bit like an elaborate prank that goes way too far?
But for those of you who get swept up in someone’s tide, you can enjoy yourself but it’s time you became aware of red flags, boundaries, and matching actions with words.
The relationships that survive (healthily) are ones where the two people have slowed down but are in essence still the same two people that met and there isn’t a dramatic shift in character and integrity.
Being confident in yourself is also about believing that there isn’t a fire – you can take enough time to get to know each other without rushing to get your pants down and make big declarations. People who tend to fast-forward can go through their cycle in a few hours (ever met an intense person online who sent you several emails, pestered you and then disappeared?
They also make the mistake of being so OTT that they create expectations that they cannot deliver on.
These people overestimate their level of interest because often the uncertainty of not knowing how you feel and needing to ‘win you over’ and ‘suck you in’, is what triggers their desire for you.
Even without red flags, by Fast-Forwarding the relationship, you will both create great expectations that may stifle the relationship before it has a chance to prosper.You will use a number of the things that they fast-forward you with as basis to trust them with – Trust Points.It’s crucial to remember that dating is a discovery period.From declarations of falling in love and ‘I love you’ when they’d barely known them a hot minute, conversations about babies, marriage, moving in, meeting parents and being whirled around like a show pony amongst friends, or hearing about how ‘Everyone is so eager to meet you’, to high intensity liaisons with persistence, great sex, average sex, and multiple phone calls, texts, emails, and letters in a bottle, all of these people have been whizzed at high speed through the early crucial stage of dating.It’s called Fast-Forwarding and it’s a technique where someone sweeps you up in a tide of intensity when they’re pursuing you and you’re dating them that you end up missing crucial red flags.
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In a startling number of stories, most of these people had some, if not a lot of reservations about the very person that was fast-forwarding them.